I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
