Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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