k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
