Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
