so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize