I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
