Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize