i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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