Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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