Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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