I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
