Me too!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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