Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
