walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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