I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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