Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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