weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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