Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
