How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
