Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
