I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
