dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
