Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i think we sleep fucked last night...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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