Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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