I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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