Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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