I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My vagina just recognized that song.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
