In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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