With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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