i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I died a long time ago.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
please come you make the beer taste better
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
