Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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