i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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