STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
