Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
