bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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