Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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