I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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