dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
