How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
