I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
