And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
