East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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