so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
