let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize