I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
