people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you had me at cake vodka
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
