what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
