KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
