A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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