You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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