I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
