Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we're making bets on your personal life
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize