and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
bring money and cleavage
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
