ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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