Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
