How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
