dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
