I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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