Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
