just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
